Monday, March 7, 2011

Joy

I would like to start this particular blog post off with an apology for how overly emotional my blog has recently become. I really do just think it's awkward.... However, my life has gotten a little overly emotional, too, (and when has it not been awkward?), and is this blog not about my life? So, if you are not into me talking about emotions and feelings and cheesy blah, blah, blah... just don't read my blog for like... well, maybe the rest of my life-- right now, I am wondering if this is what I'm permanently going to be like.

So, with that entire ridiculous introduction out of the way, you must now know (if you did not already) that I am an absolute mess. Yep. No other way around it. Can't manage my time, can't manage my heart, can't manage pretty much anything these days-- BUT let's not forget that the title of this post is, in fact, Joy.
Joy.
That's my mum's name (Shout out to you, Mom; you are probably one of about three people who read this blog; it's about time I gave you one.), and it is perfect for her. Without a doubt, Joy Jager is hands-down, the most joyful person I know. I would not be surprised if my grandmother, when choosing my mother's name, had an experience similar to Mary's with the angel Gabriel when he told her Jesus' name. The name Joy really is that perfect for my mother.

For my whole life, my mom has set an excellent example of joy to me. Ecclesiastes 3:12 says, "I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live." Right now, my selfish little heart would have life a different way than it is, but let's be real: I'm crazy blessed. My heart may be broken, but my life is great. What's the point in going on in my dreary ways because I'm not getting what I want, when I want it? Oh, wait, there isn't one. There is nothing better than for me to be joyful.
Now, I wouldn't say that means being dishonest. God does not tell me not to be sad, and he likes me to tell Him when I am. Nevertheless, the whole reason He wants me to do so, is so that he can replace my sadness with His joy. He may not change my situation to what I want it to be, but it's because he has a better plan. One of my dearest little friends (shout-out to Mags) recently said that even though we know God has a plan, sometimes it just doesn't seem like a good one, but we can take comfort in the fact that there is a plan, and somehow that plan will end up being the better one- even if we never understand how it was- it was, is, and will be. Amen, Maggie. The sub-plot of the plan may not seem joyful to me, but the resolution sure does. Heaven is going to be the freaking best, and that's the one thing I know I'm guaranteed in this plan. Nothing can take the joy of that away from me.

So, praise the Lord: I'm saved. It's as simple as that. I'm not getting my way, and I could tell you all day about how much I don't like it, but I'd rather tell you that I have a joy that, though I try to steal it from myself, no matter how big the pity-party, cannot be ruined.
Hope you didn't mind the emotions, and I apologize if cheesy makes you gag (I know the feeling). I just wanted you to know that I'm a joyful little mess, and you can be sure that any good you see in my life is for sure the grace of God: I'm a selfish disaster. Soli Deo gloria.

Oh, and as for my mom, she's coming pretty close to mastering all of the above.

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