"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer,
believe that you have received it,
and it will be yours."
I have no idea what to make of this verse.
I battled with it all summer.
I've listened to sermons on it. I've prayed about it,
etc, etc, etc....
I just don't fully understand it.
And I'm a sinner, so maybe I never will.
So far, in relation to this verse,
God has taught me that it does not mean we can just ask for whatever the heck we would like to have and have it.
"Dear God, I would just really like for you to give me a green pair of brand new Hunter rain-boots, as well as, a brand new pair of Ray-Ban Clubmasters (tortoise, please, God), and I fully believe that you are going to give them to me because you can."
+new Hunter rain-boots on my feet. new Ray-Ban Clubmasters on my face.+
... I understand that this is not at all what this verse means.
But so far, God has also taught me that when we pray for things that glorify Him,
He says yes...
but to what extent?
Wouldn't it glorify the Lord for Him to take away the cancer?
Wouldn't it glorify the Lord for Him to heal the broken marriage?
Wouldn't it glorify the Lord for Him to provide the needed money?
And yet.... Look around.
I don't "get" God.
I don't at all understand what He's up to in His plans for my life and others', and to be perfectly honest, I don't always think His ideas are the best ones.
(And if you're being perfectly honest, you don't think so either.)
I'm not saying His ideas aren't the best ones.
... but being the sinful, messy, and un-omniscient human-being that I am,
I just don't always see how they are.
I hate my flesh.
... but going back to the verse.
... There's a lot of ideas that I have about things God could employ in my life that I think would very much glorify Him.
I ask him for these things.
I stopped for a little while, but I felt dishonest with Him.
So, I recently (last night, recently) started asking again.
... But I'm afraid to believe that He might actually say yes.
Because what if He doesn't?
What if He says no?
What if God has a much better idea of how to glorify himself?
What if these things that I think would bring Him so much glory, wouldn't actually bring Him any glory at all?
I hate my flesh.
I'm a coward.
I'm afraid to be disappointed.
I'm afraid I'll end up broken and angry at God.
I'm afraid I'll say, "But, God, you promised..."
and I don't want to say that.
I don't want to be wrong. I don't want to be humbled.
And that's just messy me.
That's why I (we) need grace.
sometimes most times, I'm afraid to grow.
Even though that's the best thing for me.
What do you think of this verse?
I want to know.
Let's learn together.
And to my dear friend, Anonymous:
I'd like as many comments from you as you deem necessary.